7 Ways to Put Sorority Problems in the Past
🎀 Start the Sorority Healing 🎀
There are many great things about greek life, but sometimes things don't go as planned. Recruitment fails to make a perfect match, elections are lost, standards are violated, sisters bicker and fight. It's a challenge to move beyond the hurts and disappointments. But it's necessary if you want to have a successful sorority experience. These are some ways to start moving past your sisterhood problems.
- Understand what happened: Sisterhood problems left unresolved will continue to haunt you if you don’t address the underlying sadness or anger. You may not want to revisit the fight with your big/little, but if you don’t deal with what happened, it will eat away at you. Think about what happened and learn from it. This will help the healing.
- Accept that you cannot change what happened: You can’t change the actual past event, but you CAN change how you view it mentally. It’s impossible to rewrite history, but you can change the way you perceive it. If you didn’t get the little you wished for, or if your sisters have treated you poorly, don’t carry the hurt with you. Rewrite the way you view what happened and move forward with a new attitude.
- Don’t believe negative things said about you: Sisters can say hurtful things on social media. They gossip, they compete, they complain. If you are criticized or targeted during a sisterhood dispute, don’t believe nasty comments said about you in anger. Insults are made to purposefully hurt you. They should be put in context. One way to counter insults is by making a list of everything you LIKE about yourself. Your list will boost your self esteem. Sisters may project their own fears and flaws onto you, but you can stay focused on what’s true and what’s not.
- Be grateful for the sisters who will always be there for you: Don’t waste time worrying about girls who don’t love and respect you. If sisters in your chapter, or in the greek community, don’t appreciate how fabulous you are, then you don’t need them as close friends. Appreciate the sisters who have high opinions of you instead. Embrace your true friends and don’t allow the others to stress you out.
- Remove the past from your future: Let it go! Don’t carry baggage around with you. Acknowledge the problem or mistake, and then mentally let go of it. Don’t let any past insecurity, fears, or set-backs dictate your present. Focus on your inner core and move onward. NOT holding a sisterhood grudge is the best way to have sorority happiness!
- Create a positive tomorrow: Make sure your inner core is strong, happy and emotionally healthy. Take responsibility for yourself and how you react. The power lies within you to accept the past, make changes, forgive and write a bright future for yourself. Embrace reality and go forward with a kind heart and open mind.
- Take it slowly: Forgiving and forgetting sisterhood problems doesn’t happen instantly. Changing how you deal with friendship issues is a personal transformation. Allow yourself time and space to think differently. Some “symbolic exercises” that will help include:
1. Get a box and put all the reminders of your negative experience inside. Seal up the box and either toss it or store it away forever.
2. Write a therapeutic letter to the sister who hurt you, (or write some poetry). This will let you get your feelings out. Don’t send your writing to anyone - it’s only a way to “unload” and express your feelings. Release all your unhappy feelings and just let them disappear.